Pregnancy and Romance
The bond between Mom and Dad are the most critical bonds in the family. If the family is the house, Mom and Dad’s relationship is the foundation. And, no matter how well the house is wired, how well the siding has been applied, how strong the roof is, if the foundation isn’t strong, the house won’t stand the test of time.
So, it’s integral for the sake of their relationship and their family’s future that expecting parents secure a strong, loving and caring relationship before Baby arrives.
Once the baby makes her way into your life, it feels like all energy and focus is zapped by her. She becomes the black hole in your universe, often leaving you with nothing at the end of the day to offer your partner.
This won’t last forever, but it can definitely put a strain on a relationship after the novelty of being Mom and Dad becomes the reality of wondering where "husband and wife" have gone.
But, if you get into parenthood prepared, if you know it’ll be tough but worth every minute of sleep you lose, if you know that the good times only get better, and if you have built a loving bond before Baby arrived, during pregnancy, that bond you’ve cemented will keep your family foundation stable and your relationship with your partner loving and strong. The way to do this is through romance.
The funny thing is, that romance during pregnancy is often a different beast than it is any other time during your relationship. Remember, romance is merely making your partner feel special and cared for. But, that can be a challenge for men during the forty weeks of pregnancy.
Before pregnancy, maybe a seafood dinner at her favorite restaurant and a drive to a secluded spot to watch the sun set would have done the trick. But, during pregnancy the smell of seafood makes her nauseous, and the bumpy ride up the mountain makes her have to pee.
During the nine months of pregnancy, men need to be on their toes, aware of the changes that Mom-to-Be is experiencing. Physical, hormonal, emotional, and physiological changes are constantly taking place during pregnancy. Each week holds new surprises. Each month the unexpected happens. Each trimester will throw you both for a loop. And, each pregnancy is different from the last.
Out of the Huddle, Into the Delivery Room (Or, How to Coach a Pregnant Partner), published in Atlanta Parent, October 2006.
Top Five Ways to Avoid a Pregnant Pause in Romance, published in Coastal Woman Summer, 2007.
Also check out this special article: Your Labor With Love.
Listen to this podcast for Family Focus, 2009
Knowing what women usually go through will help any man stay on top of what will make his pregnant partner feel special and cared for. Pregnancy can be a tumultuous time for a woman. If you are there for her, can anticipate her needs, and fulfill her requests, the bond and the trust that you will build together will be stronger than any cement.
Your love will stand the test of time, sleepless nights, poopie diapers, and less intimacy than a G-rated movie. But, in the long run, you’ll have each other again, and a little one to show how to love.
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