So, what’s the deal? Why are we able to celebrate this once stigmatized event? What’s happening is that couples are excited to move on and get out of the relationship that they feel is slowing them down. both parties agree that it’s a good move, so before they get to the point of hatred, they celebrate their choice together, a choice that holds hope and promise in the future, a choice they make together. Sounds a bit like marriage, eh?

See, it used to be that getting divorced was an embarrassment. So, couples that didn’t want to stay together, often stayed just to avoid having to go through a divorce. but, those that finally chose to end the marriage, were usually at their wits’ end and had already gotten to the point of hating their spouse. So, there was no celebration in their souls.

Today, divorce is as common as ordering a burger with the pickles on the side, although not nearly as easy or as affordable. So, couples are getting out before they can no longer stand their partners. Therefore, they feel good celebrating the end of this chapter in their lives.

I am all for divorced couples ending amicably and if they can remain friends, all the better. The problem I have is that divorce parties are on the rise, because divorce is so common. We’re getting out of marriages the way teens break up in high school. No big deal. I think this is a problem, because the idea of marriage is an idea of finality. What if you don’t want to be with someone forever? I have no problem with that, but then remove marriage from the equation. We need to either take closer looks at our relationships and have longer engagements before we tie the knot, or we need to work harder once we are in the relationship to make it last.

Yes, I know. Not all marriages will last, but we need to do our homework before we say “I do” to be sure we really do, as well as invest in the marriage while we are in it, so we can avoid having to throw a divorce party. But, if we do all we can and divorce is inevitable, I think the divorce soiree is a great way to end the marriage on a positive note.

The young couple landed 254 smooches in 60 seconds, surpassing their competition by an outstanding 40 kisses. I was a judge; so I was right in there making sure every kiss was separate from the next, while trying to keep count of the jackhammer smooches. Most people found this event romantic, but being right there in the trenches, I saw it was work, lots of work. Fremeau held his partner’s head in his hands as he pecked her forehead over and over. You could see the strain on his neck and the stumble in his rhythm at times. When it was over, he said he had felt the rush of adrenaline, that his heart was racing and that his neck was sore.

I found this a metaphor for relationships. What may look romantic to some really does take work. And there is sacrifice to make a relationship work. Sometimes one person needs to take up the slack for the other to be sure all the pieces fall into place. And, maybe, if you kiss a month’s worth in just a minute, you might want to take a break from the action for a bit… I’m just sayin’.

By the way, both couples in the finals were awarded a signed copy of my latest book, The Finance of Romance, and the winning couple also won a romantic Valentine stay at The Canary Hotel’s 1,300 sq ft Presidential Suite in Santa Barbara, California, valued at over $3,000. I guess that’s worth kissing for.

But, when we first started dating, when the alarm went off in the morning, I was out of my bed in no time, up and ready for the day. My wife, on the other hand, was one of those “put it back on snooze and try again in five minutes” people. I didn’t get it. When it’s time to wake up, you get up. Yet, slowly, I never saw it happen rally, I became one of those slwo rises. I still never use the snooze, but I open my eyes and lay there for a couple minutes. then, I sit on the edge of the bed. Then, I creep to the bathroom and try to wake up. What the heck happened to me? I became my wife!

In all seriousness, though, these transformatins I mention are harmless, but they aren’t always.

We lost Whitney Houstin this weekend. I remember when I held her first album (really it was a cassette), with her hair pulled back and that peachish toga looking thing draped over her shoulders. Like every other guy in my high school, I couldn’t get enough of the future diva. Her music was terrific. She was attractive and wholesome. I was stunned when she married Bobby Brown in 1992. Hi flame had already been extinguished and it was all too apparent to many of us that he was just riding her dive coattails, while pulling all the strings.

I’m sure Whitney never intended to get wrapped up with drugs as her new husband had. She may have evenconsidered him tranfroming to be more like her and rid himself of his substance abusing ways. But, like me and my alarm clock, Whitney found herself taking on some of her man’s traits. By 2007 she was fd up with Bobby’s domestic abuse as well as drug abuse and divorced the former New Edition member. But, she couldn’t shake the traits she picked up from him.

If for some reason my wife and I separated, I still would not be beack to jumping up when the alarm clock sounded. This is who I have become due to my marriage. Whitney lead a dangerous lifestyle becuase of her marriage to Bobby and eventually it cost her life.

So, what’s my point? Be careful who you decide to be with. If you see they are leading a destructive lfe, odds are you will either convince them to stop due to your ways, or you will conform to their ways. Is that a risk you are willing to take? If it’s brown rice and alarm clocks, maybe. But, if it’s drugs and alcohol. think again. Marriage is not for saving someone. It’s supposed to be for support, love and security.

RIP Whitney.

Why do I love this? Because I get it. My wife and I never go out to dinner or the movies on Valentine’s Day because everyone else does. And, I don’t buyher the traditional gifts because there’s no cretivity in buying what the commercials are telling me that she wants. No, we are not going to separate rooms in our sweats to watch TV this Valentine’s Day, but when we get date nights, often we just like to stay home and cuddle in bed and watch a movie or read to each other on the couch.

I know, not what society tells us romance is. But that’s what makes it work. When a couple feels close enough where they can truly express what makes them feel loved and cared for, even if it goes agaiinst society’s rules, then you’ve got a couple who are at ease with one another nad get love and romance.

This Valentine’s Day, feel free to do the roses and See’s candy. nothing wrong with that if that’s what floats your boat, but if yo want to stay home and bake cookies, play scrabble or tend the garden together, don’t feel guilty that you didn’t make Valentine’s Day a Hallmark card commercial. It’s not about everyone else. It’s about the two of you.

They were interviewing Jason Alexander (no, not that one; the one that Britney Spears married and annulled 55 hours later) about his short-lived knot-tie with the pop singer.

See, before talking with Alexander, they discussed how James Cameron’s wife got $50 million after they divorce and how Mel Gibson’s ex received nearly half a billion bucks (yes, that’s “billion” with a “b”) when their marriage went kaput. The way ABC was setting this all up was as though when you divorced a celeb you deserved some cash.

Back to Alexander: they drew this picture of how Britney invited her long-time buddy to Vegas for New Years, flew him in on her private jet. The two got sloshed and she asked him to marry her. He thought, “What the heck?” and soon they were tying the knot at The Little White Chapel, with Britney in baseball cap and exposed belly.

Now, this wasn’t an impromptu marriage of a couple in love and who had been dating. It was an impromptu marriage of two friends (with benefits) who were tanked in Vegas. So, it only made sense that when the couple came to their senses they Britney reversed the charges, anulling the marriage because, really, it was a huge mistake.

So, here’s what gets me. ABC says, “Alexander arrived in Vegas in a private jet, but then was sent home on coach,” as if he deserved more than that. Then, Alexander had the audacity to follow that up with advice for non-Hollywood folks, telling us, that if youever get married to a celeb, think of it as a business deal, because he didn’t get a cent from this 55 hour marriage. Really!? Are you kidding me? Does he really think that he deserved some of the pop star’s millions because he happened to be in the right place and drunk with her?

The idea of getting cash out of the marriage is that some of that money is deserved. And, by the way, the idea of marriage is to commit yourself to one person for a lifetime of love; it’s not a business contract.Shame on Alexander to express his sour grapes on air and even more shame on ABC for implying he deserved more than a free trip to Vegas and booty call with a pop star for his two and a half days as Mr. Spears. Give me a break!

The first is the groom carrying his bride over the threshold. I know that a man is supposed to do this upon entering their ome for the first time. depending upon the culture you research, it has something to do with kidnappings or luck and omens. But, here’s my question…what happens if the groom carries his bride over the honeymoon suite threshold? you know, we fellas get a bit over zealous at times and jump the gun. So, does that mean that we no longer need to do the whole threshold thig again once we get home after the honeymoon?

And, if we are not exempt from this woman-carrying will it still keep us safe from kidnapping or keep the bad spirits at bay? I mean, did we waste the good stuff on the honeymoon suite, or will it still work at home? Is it a one-shot tradition? If not, can we just do it everytime we come home? I mean, we’ve been married 24 years coming home after grocery shopping. Should we still carry her over the threshold? Will it keep the bad stuff at bay? Just wondering.

The other thing was the word “deflower.” Is that a term we only use for taking the virginity of a woman? I mean, it sure sounds sweet and nice. “De” as a prefix means removal. And the “flower” represent a woman’s genitals. So, in essence, it means removing her genitals. Ewww, not so sweet any more. But, I get it. It’s taking away the innocence of her flower. But, my question is can we use that word in a different context? Can a gardener deflower his yard? I’ve never heard it used any other way, but I think we should start. Right after we carry our wives across the threshold after she comes home from work, we should deflower the vase. Those petunias have been in there for over a month.